A lifestyle not fit for many of you.

I've made a lifestyle out of late nights that dawn into early mornings, hot teas and black coffee, grandma sweaters, leggings, attention, acoustic music and smooth jazz, procrastination, empty beer cans sprawled all over the place the next morning, waking up next to people that love me, finding a family that is thicker than blood, telling the truth more so than ever, scandal, outfits that just don't seem to make sense anymore, actions that never have the result I'm looking for, incomplete thoughts, poor grammar, average report card grades, dreading Madame's class every day of this term, oversized purses, wishes that never come true, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, boys that never pose the same interest in me, only allowing my mind to focus on one thing at a time, BIG 100.3, clothing that i will never wear and that will forever lay in my closet, envying everything and everyone, being too judgmental yet too loving and carefree also, forever trying to please everyone, wanting to give up on everything that challenges me, preying on the guys I know I can take advantage of, being a fucked up shit head, BTF, being able to seduce anything with legs, innocence, Olivia Louise Christopher, laughing about how my life should be a television series, burning CD's that I will only listen to once and then get bored with it, keeping my mean thoughts in my head for everyone's sake, wanting what I can't have, William Arzander Carmichael, being prepared for the moment where the entire world slips from under my feet once again, the fiery ball of anger that burns in my stomach every time you speak, wanting to cry because I haven't in so long, fearing my father, wondering who my mother thinks she's fooling, pretending like I know what I'm doing when half the time I'm blind to everything, trying to read minds, asking too blunt of questions, being shy when I shouldn't, hanging out with people way older than myself, listening to 80's pop, being overprotective of all of the boys she has ever liked, forgetting birthday and holiday presents, never having a boyfriend that I'm 100 percent confident about, hating all girls that are prettier than me, trying to think what a best friend would do and end up doing the complete opposite, being a spiteful bitch, not letting people walk all over me, dyslexia, fearing that one day i'll be a whale, wishing there was something after there life but I know there isn't, haircuts, bobby pins, dragons and butterflies, my third block lunch table with the people I love, mumbling in french class and getting yelled at, fooling about 98% of everyone, "Life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and lets get high.", childhood games, ... tbc