The new year is right around the corner. I'm thinking of what my resolution should be? Now I just brought the computer too close to face, and is getting blurrier, but oh well my back hurts less this way.
Well miracles really do happen sometime, I finally picked up a book called, "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World". I'm really liking it I have a little less than 100 pages left. It's made me come to realized that my life is filled with so many traps. Guilt, jealousy, envy, authority, obligations, commitments, promises, etc. You should do things that make YOU happy but in some instances people do things to make OTHER people happy in search of making themselves feel better that they've helped someone that they care/ or not care about. But as a result they don't feel better. Why take the time to do things you don't want to do? You're only given one life, make the best out of it. It would be such a shame to see someone throw away such a beautiful priceless thing. Never let one thing hold down/ take control of/ or be your life, wether it be a boyfriend, hobby, drugs, etc. Too much of one thing is never a good thing. I've come to realize that my life is a gift, it's such an amazing, beautiful, astonishing piece of work.
I don't believe in God, but I just prefer to keep myself away from religion. But however life came to be in the end we all die. *** I am personally scared shitless of dying. I'm afraid that I won't get to do all the things I've ever wanted to do. I don't want to run out of time. It scares me to know I'll watch the ones I love die, I just hope when the time comes I'll be ready.
I'm currently enrolled in ballet and partnering classes at The Virginia Civic Ballet. I'm so glad I have dance in my life again. I feel like I have direction, a purpose, a future. I'm thinking of majoring in Liberal/ Performing Arts. Too bad no college is going to accept me, my grades are so average. It gets me down, but I think I balance everything pretty well. On Wednesday I am performing with some other dancers at First Night in Warrenton. We are performing Scrooge. I hope I don't do too terribly bad. I haven't danced since like last year around this time. Hopefully Ajua will join up at the studio I am now at. She is wonderful.
Last night I hung out with Maxx, Andrew, Matt, and Harry. We all went to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I really enjoyed it, and I bet Billy will love it as well. I had fun I stayed the night at Maxx's house and we stayed up, talked, and eventually drifted asleep. We woke up and she took me to dance, my instructor was late the studio was closed. Maxine and I talked some more, and more, and more. Finally Cynthia showed up and we got to work. I feel like I'm going to forget all my choreography. :/ Darn.
I kind of wish I had a boyfriend, but then again it's a bit of a hassle. Kettle Run boys are stupid anyways. So I have no interest in any of them. I don't really have an interest in many people. Some are starting to catch my eye, but nothing to awesome.
Tuesday I am going cosmic bowling with Maxine after rehearsal. She's never been so we're going to change that. Maybe some other kid will come along, but it's alright if they don't
Saturday Christie came over, I really enjoy her presence. She is such a real person, she doesn't pretend to be someone else and I respect her for that.
I'm done now.
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